An unusual approach to grief: Make a video game

The idea of a video game about a terminally ill toddler makes many people uncomfortable. There's a similar unease over the documentary film about the game.

The film, called "Thank You for Playing," will close this year's Twin Cities Film Festival at a screening Saturday night. The filmmakers hope it will spur important conversations.

The parents who created the game "That Dragon, Cancer," about their dying son did not at first agree.

Amy Green said her husband, Ryan, a game designer, suggested the project. She wasn't sold.

"For probably at least a year I told him, 'I don't think that's a good idea. I don't think anyone wants to play that game,'" she said.

Doctors found a tumor in their son Joel's brain when he was a year old. They gave him just a few months to live. However, he kept responding well to treatments.

"We were seeing lots of little miracles with Joel," said Amy Green. "Lots of times, his cancer was responding to things that they shouldn't. And we just believed that maybe he'd live.

"And I think that maybe that's maybe a thing that all parents do when you have a terminal child ... You think, 'My kid could be the one that beats the odds.' And we were praying for him and we thought, 'Maybe he'll be healed, and if he is, what an incredible story to tell."

Amy came around and they began working on creating the game. Initially they saw it as a way to celebrate Joel and how much they loved him.

In the game, players travel with the family — to their home, to the playground, to the hospital. The Greens use their own voices and those of their other children. At one point in the game, they feed some ducks together, and discuss why Joel can't talk.

"Why can't Joel?" asks one of Joel's brothers.

"Well, Joel got sick, right after he turned 1," says Ryan.

"Kind of slowed him down a little bit, buddy," says Amy.

The game tells a story of love, family and faith.

Word got out about "That Dragon, Cancer." Documentary filmmaker David Osit stumbled across it on a gaming website.

"And to me, as a filmmaker, there were a lot of stories within this idea of what does making a game of this look like, and what are the emotional implications of making a game like this?" he said.

Osit said people have always dealt with difficult human situations through art, whether it's writing a poem or a book or painting an image. In making a video game, he said, the Greens were just using their medium of comfort.

The Greens agreed to let Osit come in and film. They saw it as another way to tell Joel's story. So he was there when Joel's tumors returned and the boy became increasingly ill. He was also there when Ryan took a prototype to a gaming convention.

"So this was in this very crowded gaming conference, full of like explosions and loud noises," he recalled.

Osit watched as Ryan persuaded some of the gamers to play. Both were amazed that many openly wept while playing. Some were so choked up when they were finished that they could only hug Ryan and leave.

"That's not a very natural thing, when we make art, to be able to have so much immediate feedback from the consumer of the artwork," he said. "Let alone artwork that is so interactive that it puts people in your shoes as much as possible."

Osit remained with the family until Joel died a few months later. His finished film, "Thank You for Playing," will run on the POV show on PBS next year. The finished game, "That Dragon, Cancer," will be released in the next few months.

Osit said people in the Western world find conversations about grief difficult. He said it's something one needs to talk about with a friend.

"And you kind of become a friend, if you play the video game, to Ryan and Amy," he said. "You kind of enter into their world a little bit, because that's what they are doing, they're inviting you in to the world. So when you have that conversation it somehow is easier."

"Thank You for Playing" will screen at 8 p.m. Saturday at the Showplace Icon in St Louis Park. Osit and Amy Green will be there. She said she knows people find the idea of both the game and the film intimidating, but she thinks it's helpful for people who take the plunge.

"It does seem to release something in them," she said. "That they feel a little bit of freedom to talk a little bit more about their life. And I think that it's an uplifting and rewarding experience, even if it's a difficult undertaking emotionally."

And she hopes it's also a chance for a few more people to get to know her son Joel.