Mary Johnson Roy, who healed others with her remarkable forgiveness, is dead at 71

CATHY WURZER: Mayor Jacob Frey will declare April 13th, this Saturday, as Mary Johnson-Roy Day in Minneapolis. Saturday, the remarkable Johnson-Roy will be laid to rest. She died on March 27th at the age of 71.

She is known for her powerful story of forgiveness after her son, Laramiun Lamont Bird, was killed by Oshea Israel back in 1993 when both got into a fight. Osha was a teenager at the time. He was convicted and sentenced to prison for murder. Here's a conversation between Mary Johnson-Roy and Oshea Israel at StoryCorps back in 2011.

MARY JOHNSON-ROY: You and I met at Stillwater Prison. I wanted to know if you were in the same mindset of what I remember from court, where I wanted to go over and hurt you, but you were not that 16-year-old. You were a grown man. I shared with you about my son.

OSHEA ISRAEL: And he became human to me. When I met you, it was like, OK, this guy is real. And then when it was time to go, you broke down and started shedding tears. And the initial thing to do was just try to hold you up as best I can. Just hug you like I would my own mother.

MARY JOHNSON-ROY: And I begin to say, I just hugged the man that murdered my son. And I instantly knew that all that anger and the animosity, all the stuff I had in my heart for 12 years for you, I knew it was over, that I had totally forgiven you.

OSHEA ISRAEL: As far as receiving forgiveness from you, sometimes I still don't know how to take it, because I haven't totally forgiven myself yet. It's still a process that I'm going through.

MARY JOHNSON-ROY: I treat you as I would treat my son. And our relationship is beyond belief.

OSHEA ISRAEL: You still believe in me. And the fact that you can do it, despite how much pain I caused you, it's amazing. I love you, lady.

MARY JOHNSON-ROY: I love you, too, son.

CATHY WURZER: Mary forged a lifelong bond with Oshea. She also founded the group From Death to Life, which brought together other parents of children who were victims of homicide. Oshea Israel joins us right now to talk about Mary's remarkable life. Thank you for joining us.

OSHEA ISRAEL: Thank you for having me.

CATHY WURZER: I want to take you back to that meeting at Stillwater. I can't even imagine what you were thinking when Mary reached out to you and wanted to talk to you after you killed her son. What were you thinking?

OSHEA ISRAEL: Initially, when she reached out, I didn't understand it either. I didn't know if she just wanted to fuss and yell at me or ridicule me. And I wasn't sure, so I denied her the first time that she reached out to speak with me. But Mary being Mary, she's very persistent. When she wants something done, she's going to make sure she gets it done.

So she reached out to me again. And when she reached out, I discussed it with a few of my relatives who were incarcerated with me as well. It felt like it was the right thing to do. Like if someone had taken my life, I hope they would be man enough to speak to my mother and give her the closure that she needed. And if I held that expectation, I myself had to live up to it.

CATHY WURZER: So you had the meeting, and then this relationship kind of started from there. She refers to you as her spiritual son. What do you think of that? Tell me about that.

OSHEA ISRAEL: Well, Mary's favorite phrase from our first meeting, I think we met for two hours. And at the end of the meeting, I don't know why-- I just felt compelled to give her a hug and show her my sincerity. And when I offered the gesture, she accepted. And when I hugged her, she just-- I don't know-- broke down. And I had to hold her up, so it was like her moment of vulnerability and my moment of vulnerability.

And she said after that initial contact, that initial meeting, it was just like beyond belief how everything went, how everything transpired, and how we were able to sit there and talk to each other like adults and really get to know each other. So beyond belief is really the best description, I believe, to apply to it.

CATHY WURZER: Almost like some unseen hand kind of guiding you two together in a sense?

OSHEA ISRAEL: Yes, that's what she said. She always says it was God's doing. Without God being present, none of it would have happened. Her coming to the point of wanting to meet with me, me accepting, wanting to speak with her, and then us coming together and having a type of dialogue that we did had to be God's hand.

CATHY WURZER: So you had quite a bond. And I'm sorry for your loss. I'm curious, what were your final days like with Mary?

OSHEA ISRAEL: Well, you know, I had moved out of state, been out of state for a while. So when I got the phone call that things had made a turn for the worse, we scheduled for me to come there and be able to sit with her and spend time and talk to her.

So she was actually on her deathbed when I made it there to speak to her. Not really responsive, but she was able to hear and try to respond as best as she could, but she was so heavily sedated. But I took the moment to just let her know what she meant to me, how I felt about her, to show my appreciation, to give her, her flowers while she was still here.

CATHY WURZER: I'm glad you had that chance to see her before she left. I know her memorial service is this coming Saturday. It's going to be streamed live, including in prisons across Minnesota, and really, throughout the country. Tell me why that's happening, and why is Mary such an important figure for those who are in prison?

OSHEA ISRAEL: I mean, again, it's another barrier that she was able to break with the light that shines within her for her to be able to come into prisons with me and speak with me. And then she and I speaking together and then she and I traveling across the country. She broke down many barriers, many walls with the light that shines within her. So it's no surprise that they're opening up more doors for her, as she's entering the biggest door of all. It's just, she's a remarkable woman, you know?

CATHY WURZER: Do you think the work that has been done with the group From Death to Life, can you kind of give us a sense as to how that has changed lives?

OSHEA ISRAEL: Well, I could start with myself. I mean, once Mary and I initially met prior to that, I was still in prison, of course. I had to serve 17 years. At the moment that we met, I think I believe I was 12 years in and had five more to serve.

I had went to segregation probably two or three times a year within prison for lengthy stays, maybe 60 days here or 120 days here, 200 days here, multiple times a year. And after Mary and I had our initial meeting, I never went back to segregation again. And I still had never even got a minor writeup, and I still had five years left, so just the impact that it had on me was tremendous.

But we hear a lot of people who were incarcerated with myself say how they were inspired by our story. And they've come home, and they've begun to do great works and great things within the community. There's people that I've met then I didn't even know or just run across people, when they find out who I am, they're so amazed at the story and say how much they were touched by the story. So it really resonates with a lot of people.

CATHY WURZER: You mentioned how you've changed. In that little bit of audio, we heard you say you haven't totally forgiven yourself for the murder of Mary's son. Have you done that at this point?

OSHEA ISRAEL: It's still a struggle. It's still a battle. There's always the feeling of when something's not going right in your life, when everything seems to fall apart and nothing seems to work, it's like, well, this is what I get. This is my karma coming back to me.

Or there's the times when everything is working out, and everything is like the sun is at its brightest for you, you feel like, wow, do I really deserve this after what I've done?

So it's always a constant struggle. But you have to remind yourself that you are no longer that person who committed such acts. You have grown since then. You have grown into another person. And even 10 days from now, you'll be someone different. So it's all about continuing to better yourself and better your situation.

CATHY WURZER: Final question here, Oshea. How do you want your friend Mary to be remembered?

OSHEA ISRAEL: I want her to be remembered as, like I said, someone special. In the beginning, God said let there be light. And to me, she was one of the brightest ones that he's created. And I wanted everyone to know that. And that her work is not done, that we will continue to do her work and continue to make her proud. And just know that she lived a life that was beyond belief.

CATHY WURZER: Oshea Israel, really, thank you so much for your time and for remembering Mary Johnson-Roy.

OSHEA ISRAEL: Yes, thank you all for having us, and thank you all for remembering her and celebrating her life and her vision and what she wanted out of this world, which is forgiveness, understanding, and peace.

CATHY WURZER: Oshea Israel is Mary Johnson-Roy's spiritual son. She died at the age of 71 back on March 27th after living with Lewy body dementia for the past four years.