Lebanese Minnesotan describes ‘numbness’ watching attacks in her home country

CATHY WURZER: The Pentagon announced this morning that it is sending more American troops to the middle east following escalating tensions there. It's been five days since news broke of an attack on Lebanon via exploding pagers and walkie talkies. And over the weekend, Israeli airstrikes in the region have killed 274 people and injured more than 1,000 more. It's the deadliest day of Israeli attacks since 2006.

More than 7,000 Lebanese Minnesotans have been witness to the chaos from afar. One of them is south Minneapolis resident Rasha Ahmad Sharif. She got her father out from Lebanon less than a week before 100s of pagers exploded simultaneously across Lebanon. Her dad is staying with her in Minneapolis as they figure out next steps. Rasha is on the line right now. Thank you so much for taking the time. I know this is a very difficult time for you and the rest of the community.

RASHA AHMAD SHARIF: Yes, thank you so much for having me.

CATHY WURZER: I can't even imagine what the past few weeks have been like for you. Can you give us a sense as to what you've been feeling since the violence has been going up so much in your home country?

RASHA AHMAD SHARIF: You know, feeling is, you know, sometimes when we feel we want to allow ourselves, but sometimes it's-- it's even hard to just feel, right? Numbness is what actually explains our situation because I am sure a lot of other Lebanese feel the same way if we are living in two worlds where, just I'm talking to you right now, I am completely shaking, right?

And I have my work to do, my life to move along with here in Minnesota and Minneapolis. I look outside. Everything is still. But there is this other reality that's connected to me, to my soul, to my heart that's just falling apart. I have a home here in Minnesota, and my home is in Beirut that's getting demolished as we speak.

So there is this dual reality. And, as human beings, we're not used to this. Usually, if we want to live in reality, it's like we're watching a movie, and we can disconnect from it at any moment. And unfortunately, we do not have that privilege or luxury to disconnect, and we can't, and we shouldn't.

So it's extremely-- it's extremely horrible, especially with the people around us because to deal with people who don't know what's happening in Lebanon and just carry normal conversations, and we want to just say that I cannot have this conversation right now. When people say good morning or good evening, it's not good. And how do we explain that to people for us to just exist in everything we're feeling or not feeling? It has been extremely, extremely heavy.

CATHY WURZER: I'm wondering, I know that there was the big Lebanese festival in Northeast Minneapolis over the weekend. Gosh, that's been going on for 30 some odd years. Did you have an opportunity to go and maybe commune a bit with Lebanese Minnesotans who do understand what's going on?

RASHA AHMAD SHARIF: Yes, I did go yesterday. It was a moment where-- where we did come together, and we celebrated. It was a mixed emotions, for me, at least. I know that a lot of people just came out to kind of connect. It was-- we were celebrating and healing together.

And at the same time, in the back of our heads, on our phones, everywhere we go, we know that our families and our loved ones, they're not in the same way. And there was this wish that we could just bring them here, for them to be with us. And so, it was a moment of, I want to say, very brief healing. And then we came back to reality very quick.

CATHY WURZER: You mentioned family. So your father-- you had the opportunity to get him out of Lebanon. How difficult was that? And he is here right now, right?

RASHA AHMAD SHARIF: Correct.

CATHY WURZER: OK.

RASHA AHMAD SHARIF: It was very difficult because when I had asked him to come, the airport was about to close. All of the airlines, usually you would pay around $1,000 to fly back and forth from Lebanon. The air tickets were around from $11,000 to $20,000 to get him out of Lebanon. There were no flights, or there were so many stops.

So I had to book him a ticket to go to a different country, to Cairo. And then from Cairo, I was able, and there was only one flight that was coming out. So I was able just to put him on that flight. Of course, it was extremely expensive, but then I was able to bring him to Cairo, and from Cairo bring him to Paris, and then from Paris to Minneapolis.

So, of course, there's this chaos that happens that also taking advantage of the situation and then where airlines just jack all of their tickets. So they make it extremely expensive for people to fly for safety.

CATHY WURZER: Wow. So he is here. Are you having-- well, I could only imagine the conversations you're having right now.

RASHA AHMAD SHARIF: Yeah.

CATHY WURZER: What have you been talking about since he's arrived?

RASHA AHMAD SHARIF: Believe it or not, we have not been talking about the situation. It's very-- even today, like today, I woke up, and my family is displaced, my cousins. And we're just reading there's more than 300 people killed, including children and families. And I haven't reached out to him.

I haven't-- I haven't-- he lives right above me in the same building, and I haven't talked to him because in these moments we just-- we just do not know what to say to each other, right, because usually when we talk to people, we want to educate, or we want to express-- when I look at him and there is honestly just silence, and we just want to talk about the next steps, right? So we're talking about what is going to happen next? What does his day look like? What do you want to eat? Do you want tea? And we just move on.

CATHY WURZER: Like basic things. Yeah, like the basics of living at this point, right?

RASHA AHMAD SHARIF: Survival, absolutely.

CATHY WURZER: Yes, yeah. And as you mentioned, your whole family's been displaced. I think your brother is still back in Lebanon, right?

RASHA AHMAD SHARIF: Yes.

CATHY WURZER: So, given what you just did with your dad, there's no way-- can they get out at all?

RASHA AHMAD SHARIF: My brother?

CATHY WURZER: Yes.

RASHA AHMAD SHARIF: I am not really sure where-- because, again, just talking about the next steps. And I'm going to say we are extremely privileged because we do live in an area that is a little far from what's happening because this is how we survive in Lebanon. We choose our houses on what is-- because we always have in the back of our heads something's going to happen.

So we choose our houses in places where they are not very-- very dangerous. So we are very privileged in this way. We have spoken to my brother. He hasn't expressed any want to leave. It's the saying that everything is going to end, so the war is going to end one day, and everything is going to be fine. So it's like avoiding this whole conversation.

CATHY WURZER: Mm, before you go, there is so much I want to ask you, but we're running out of time, sadly. Is there anything that your neighbors could do for you right now? Is there anything, you mentioned that it's very difficult when someone says good morning or good afternoon because it's not really good for you. Is there anything that you need?

RASHA AHMAD SHARIF: The only thing I would say that I need is people to be neighbors or community, especially, Minneapolis, since it is my community, is for people to get educated about what's happening. Now it's everywhere. There's no excuse for anyone to say that I do not know, and to just understand that we are in continuous grieving. We're not in PTSD. It's not post. We're still in it, right? So we're still in this trauma-- in this trauma session that's not ending. And it's like someone has lost someone very close. And we keep doing it every day. So definitely getting educated, understanding that people around them, could be Lebanese, could be going through this pain collectively.

The second thing that I please ask people not to become political analytics, right, to analyze the situation for us, especially for us. When people start talking about our tax dollars and our money, it's not the time for us to talk about the bigger picture, especially when someone is grieving. If you are educated about something, center empathy and humanization around everything. And please do not be a strategic analyst. We don't need that. People who are grieving do not need that. We just need the space and understanding, and know that how would you deal with someone who is grieving. And that's it.

CATHY WURZER: I'm grateful that you had the time and willingness to talk with us. I know it's difficult. Rasha, thank you so very much. We'll be thank you.

RASHA AHMAD SHARIF: Thank you. Thank you so much.

CATHY WURZER: Rasha Ahmad Sharif has been with us. She's a Lebanese American living in south Minneapolis.