A fan of football, but not a fan of rape

By Sara Marsh

It seems that even retired NFL players, even Hall of Fame players, can't stay out of trouble. So says the NYPD, which picked up Lawrence Taylor on Thursday and arrested him on suspicion of raping a 15-year-old girl in a hotel.

Although Taylor is 51 and long retired from the game, it seems he can't help but contribute to the latest streak of alleged sexual assaults involving NFL players.

The current poster boy for NFL-related sexual assault is, of course, Ben Roethlisberger. Big Ben, the star quarterback of the Pittsburgh Steelers, who has won the team two Vince Lombardi trophies. Obviously, the guy is not such a star off the field --- nor is he as coveted by women as he apparently believes.

According to news reports, Roethlisberger has been accused of rape repeatedly and slapped with lawsuits (and, presumably, hands) by women from Lake Tahoe, Calif., to Milledgeville, Ga. Pretty soon there isn't going to be a single state where he's allowed to even try and pick up girls in a bar.

As a woman myself, let me clarify, here. I am a tremendous football fan.

I'm not the girl who occasionally goes to a game and wears a Vikings jersey to the bar sometimes. I am the girl who scours the channels for any NFL news, games or updates. I'm the girl who will sit down with her dad and brother and watch any Sunday game, regardless of whether it's the playoffs or not, even if it's not her team. However, I am also a girl (woman, lady) who is and always has been deeply concerned about sexual assault --- particularly in a setting like a bar or on a date when that assault might be written off by the attacker as, "Well, we were out, and she was into me. She was asking for it. I didn't take advantage."

And this predatory behavior seems to be an increasing trend with pro athletes (especially in the NFL). And that makes things very difficult for me, a young woman who loves the game. It makes me feel like I shouldn't be watching and celebrating the game that I love, because oftentimes the players are exhibiting such despicable behavior off the field.

According to ESPN, Roethlisberger is somewhat contrite -- at least, he's not going to appeal the six game suspension imposed on him by Commissioner Roger Goodell. I, for one, think that the suspension is a great move on Goodell's part. Goodell has been quoted as admonishing Roethlisberger (via letter), "You are held to a higher standard as an NFL player, and there is nothing about your conduct ... that can remotely be described as admirable, responsible, or consistent with either the values of the league or the expectations of our fans." He's right --- in fact, that behavior is not consistent with what we expect from a human being, NFL player or not.

What's depressing about all of this is that Roethlisberger is just the latest in a long line of detestable yet noteworthy NFL players. Assault and battery, rape, vandalism, the infamous dog-fighting ... the list goes on. These players are hurting not only their victims and themselves, but the game. A few act like morons, and then football players in general get the reputation for being brutish and criminal.

What somebody does in his personal life is his own business, and no one should judge him, because nobody but that person really knows the truth --- and we all make mistakes. But when you accept a position of celebrity and become a role model, you need to really try and keep it clean. Making mistakes is one thing. Getting sued for rape, or thrown in jail for assault or dog-fighting -- those are more than mistakes. Those are crimes.

So now, as a result of Roethlisberger's decidedly un-role-model-like conduct, you've got a whole bunch of kids in Pittsburgh (and probably all over the nation) who are completely confused, because this guy who has created so much excitement and joy in their young lives has now committed acts of unspeakable humiliation and degradation.

The biggest problem of all? The crimes and the guys who commit them often get much, much more of the limelight than the guys who do really great things and are honestly terrific role models.

So you want to tell that kid who loves Ben Roethlisberger and wants to be just like him: Why not be like Matt Birk, center for the Baltimore Ravens and former Pro Bowl center for the Minnesota Vikings, who founded a charity to benefit at-risk children (Matt Birk's HIKE Foundation), instead? Birk also reportedly plans to donate his brain to science after he's deceased, to help scientists further determine the long-term effects of concussions. Pro Bowl guy, great family, started a foundation, wants to help future individuals at risk for concussions. Don't you want to be like that guy?

To which the kid says, "Um, who's Matt Birk?"

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Sara Marsh, Minneapolis, is an actress and writer.

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