How to talk to your aging parents about money

Talking with your parents about finances can be hard, but it has to happen, said Kim Brown, president of JNBA Financial Advisors in Minneapolis. Being left with unanswered questions and unknown finances when a parent falls ill or dies can complicate an already painful experience.

The best way to start is to keep the focus on the parents' plans.

"What we're really trying to do is plan for the next phase of their life. We're trying to make this journey and this transition as positive a possible, and the best way to do that is through conversations, and knowing where they're at financially — knowing how they want to live out the rest of their life," Brown said. Starting these conversations can lead to some uncomfortable interactions.

"You're so used to being the child, when these conversations start to occur, you start to see a gradual role reversal, which we find can be difficult," Brown said.

One project to focus on is a Personal Data Journal. Parents and children can work together to compile key information in one place, including bank account locations, insurance information, even passwords for online accounts.

JNBA has a checklist for people just beginning to have these conversations. The full list is available online, but here's a sample of questions to ask:

• Does your loved one have enough money from income and savings to sustain their lifestyle?
• Are they able to make appropriate financial decisions?
• Should the child's/caregiver's name be added to accounts?
• Does Medicaid planning need to be considered?
• Will your loved one be dependent on their child or caregiver for financial support? If so, have the child's/caregiver's financial needs been considered?
• Have distribution strategies been discussed and evaluated?
• Is the asset allocation of their investment accounts still appropriate?
• If your loved one has an interest in a business, have arrangements been made to continue or dispose of the interest in the event of incapacity or death?

Brown will serve on a free panel next Thursday about how families can prepare together for the aging process. Full details are available from JNBA.

For the full discussion with Kim Brown about finances and aging parents, use the audio player above.