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Three book recommendations to mind your manners

The day before one of the most polarized elections of our time, and Kerri Miller offers three books with which to mind your manners. 

The Marvelous Millennial’s Manual to Modern Manners
"The Marvelous Millennial’s Manual to Modern Manners" by Jessica Marventano and Catherine Crane Wallace.
Courtesy of publisher

It’s been a couple of weeks since University of Minnesota professor and Braver Angels co-founder Bill Doherty was on the show, but I keep thinking about the ferocity with which his “malice toward none” pledge was met.

Bill suggested that the way to progress beyond our pre-election fury for one another was to commit to let go of the disdain and contempt for people who voted differently than we did.

Let’s just say his suggestion — and my advocacy for the idea — didn’t go down well with a whole lot of people.

So, if you can’t eschew your scorn for your fellow voter, maybe you can fake it til you make it. In other words, maybe your good manners will redeem you — and salvage those most uncomfortable situations.

To that end, here are three great books about manners:

When Myka Meier’s “Modern Etiquette Made Easy” was published in March, it sold out in 24 hours. She learned about forks and knives, dress codes and socializing from a former member of the queen’s household. Meier believes etiquette is really all about putting the other person first.

My second manners manual is “50 Essential Etiquette Lessons” by Kathryn Flannery. Her book focuses more on high level corporate socialization: maintaining your poise when you end up alone in the elevator with the CEO; whether and how to drink at a company get together; and how to behave on your first appearance in the boardroom. Flannery writes: “Etiquette matters because how you present yourself to the work matters.”

Finally, there’s the insouciant and mannerly advice from Jessica Marventano and Catherine Crane Wallace in “The Marvelous Millennial’s Manual to Modern Manners.” Wallace and Marventano contend that Millennials weren’t — ahem — raised with “a solid foundation of manners” and so this book fills in the gaps.

“Etiquette,” they write, “serves as a roadmap of civilized society…”

My three book recommendations on post-election etiquette and manners are: “The Marvelous Millennial’s Manual to Modern Manners,” “Modern Etiquette Made Easy,” and “50 Essential Etiquette Lessons.”