Move over couples. Meet the single women sending out holiday cards

If you get a holiday card in the mail, chances are it's from a family — or a couple. But increasingly, single women have taken up the beloved tradition, crafting creative designs that celebrate their singlehood and the holidays.

This year, I got my first Christmas card from a single friend — and wanted to hear the stories of other women who send them out. When I asked on social media to hear from single ladies who send out holiday cards — I got over a thousand emails from women, men and nonbinary folks who are putting their own spin on them.

Rather than showing off a partner, kids or house, 29-year-old Jaclyn Jermyn, who lives in Boston, says that a few years ago, she started designing her own cards "to reflect some of the adventures that I've had over the past year."

630 miles away in Forest, Va., Sandy Harris, 30, started making her own holiday cards after she realized that the only professional photos she had of herself were of her as a bridesmaid.

"I just didn't want the only documentation of this season of my life to exist because I was in somebody else's wedding," Harris said.

She got professional photos taken for her cards four years ago, and has been making them ever since — though some years have just been a collection of photos taken throughout the year.

Hollie Daudelin, 32, in Hopkinton, Mass., sends what she calls "Happy Hollidays" cards — yes, like "Hollie." To her, the cards are as much of an expression of creativity as they are a way to stay connected to friends and family.

"I love stationery and I love like a little art project and I love to send my face to people," Daudelin said.

And if you ask 22-year-old Eva Ferguson in Boston, she did it because she thought it was funny.

"I'm a woman who makes money and has free will, so I'll spend my money how I please," Ferguson said. "And that means I'm going to send all of my close friends and family a reminder that I care about them."

All of these ladies are part of a cohort who are deciding that their lives are worth sharing, despite not having the traditional spouse and family that appear on many of the holiday cards they receive in the mail.

Ontavia Roulette, 37, in New York City sent her first solo holiday cards this year as a "love letter" to herself — and to others.

"It's me and it's just me and I love me," Roulette said. "And it took me a long time to be okay with the idea of knowing that, you know, I'm going to live a life alone for a little while — or even forever. And that's okay."

She doesn't regret putting her career over building a nuclear family — but does say that she wishes more single women sent her holiday cards.

It can also be a welcome creative outlet amid holiday stress. Alyssa Sassor of Tampa, Fla. says the act of designing the cards brings her joy.

"I'm the type of person that loves to make very intricate invites for a dinner party or even a movie night at my house in my backyard," Sassor said. "So coming up with Christmas cards and putting together what it's going to look like is honestly half the fun."

But along with the joy Sassor receives from creating her cards, she also has some additional hopes for what may come out of her yearly tradition.

"I am a hopeless romantic," Sassor said. "So maybe I will send my card to a friend or family member. They'll throw a holiday party and my future husband will be there and he'll be like, 'Oh, my God, who is that?' And they'll be like, 'Wow, I've really never thought about this before. I'm going to set you two up.' Boom. Next thing you know, I'm married."

Sandy Harris, who started making cards after realizing she didn't want the only nice photos of her to be in bridesmaids dresses, took it a step further — by encouraging friends to distribute her cards to eligible bachelors.

This year, Harris even doubled her mailing list in hopes a mutual friend would see the photos that double as a "dating app profile" on a fridge — and reach out. She says it's kind of a joke, but kind of not.

"I collected all of the best photos of myself from this past year and like included them all on a card and sent it out to all the same people plus some, and just kind of reminded them like, 'Hey, like, your girl's single, if you know any single men who have jobs and you think could be interested, here you go.'"

Though women are getting married and having kids later in life compared to previous generations — social demographer and professor Sharon Sassler doesn't think that's the reason why these women are sending solo holiday cards.

"This is a pretty traditional gender story where women are traditionally seen as the kin keepers" Sassler said.

Sassler says sending out holiday cards is the modern way of keeping close family ties.

"Even though they're single and don't necessarily have kids yet, they're still working to stay connected," she said.

To celebrate the holiday season, here are some of the solo holiday cards sent to NPR, and the people who made them: 

Izzy Newmark, 26, New York City

"I have been making a single girl Christmas card for the last six years as a sort of rebellion against my dad always picking a horrible picture of me for the family card. When I started, however, I thought it was perhaps a little egotistical to do a whole nice spread of my year so I made it a sort of self-deprecating joke."

LaRissa Anthony, 31, Charlotte, N.C.

"I'm relatively festive and enjoy spreading kindness while letting people know they're on my mind. Sending holiday cards featuring me and my dogs, Saint and Porter, felt like the perfect way to do just that! I hope more single individuals embrace this chapter of their lives by sending greeting cards — life is worth celebrating!"

Hitomi Demers, 37, Los Angeles

"Matching sweaters in some sort of Christmas tree farm was not really my style, so I reached out to an Instagram account I had been following for years (@catpartypetportraits) to schedule a photo shoot that was camp and amazing. I'm a video producer by trade, so ideating on themes and making DIY props and outfits is really up my alley."

Janessa Joy, 38, Port Townsend, Wash.

"Last year I got divorced and both my elderly dogs passed away… tough year. I've been doing lots of healing and honestly starting to enjoy getting to know myself. I recently decided to start dating myself and my first date was taking myself to a JCPenney portrait studio to have some fun pictures taken of just me."

Lindsay Gafford, 41, Reno, Nev.

"I spent a lot of time building a life I love as a single person, and I think it's worth sharing and celebrating! Plus, it's an excuse to get (hilarious) professional photos taken with my senior shih tzu, Hank, each year. I wish more single people would send out Christmas cards! Our lives are as important and interesting as anyone else's."

Kate Pennington, 25, Waco, Texas

"It covers the major headlines of a wild year: representing my law school at an international advocacy competition in Nepal, graduating from law school, studying for the bar, becoming an aunt, and getting licensed as an attorney."

Sydnee Prince, 31, New York City

"Two of my single best friends send Christmas cards every year and they inspired me to pull the plug and send them out."

Lexie Linwood, 25, Kirkland, Wash.

"I designed mine like a newspaper in card form and joined in on the card exchange. I've never received a card like this from other women, but I'd absolutely love to!"

Christina Ruiz, 34, Roswell, Ga.

"I love receiving Christmas cards — and I even keep them up year round on a metal Christmas tree holder in my front room. It's a great reminder of the family and friends I'm surrounded by!"

Emma Chachere, 27, Austin, Texas

"Each year I come up with a new theme and have a little self-portrait photoshoot. I also have 2 adopted penguins through the WWF that I photoshop in with me!"

Anna Biggerstaff, 26, New York City

"People don't send cards a lot these days and I find that getting mail is such a fun personal thing especially at Christmas."

Abby Shepler, 30, Red Wing, Minn.

"I figured if families with matching pajamas and kids can send holiday cards, so can I — with my dog and Santa as my backup squad."

Marissa Bernal, 28, Kansas City, Kan.

"I don't feel the need to wait for a husband or kids to start sending out Christmas cards! One day, I know my cards will include a wonderful family, but for now, I'm treasuring this special time with my sweet poodle and embracing the joy of creating my own memories."

Addy Falgoust, 29, Yellowstone National Park, Wyo.

"Growing up, my mom always sent out Christmas cards for our family. When my cats were excluded from the family Christmas card in 2021, I decided to create my own with my little family: myself and my cats!"

Meg Collins, 32, Fleetwood, N.Y.

"I achieved visiting my seventh continent, Antarctica, in December 2024! I traveled alone to join a National Geographic expedition to check off my bucket list!"

Valerie Insley, 37, Savannah, Ga.

"Not only did I send out single lady Christmas cards toting all of my accomplishments this year — including buying my first home and adopting my gorgeous French Bulldog, Gouda — I had my friend who is a professional broadway photographer come down to Savannah and shoot the card photos."

Milli Boateng, 29, Arvada, Colo.

"I'd love to get cards from single women, single men, or single parents highlighting what they've been up to all year. It's a fun way to recap offline and takes the pressure off waiting for a "family" to have all the holiday traditions!"

Emily Frye, 30, Oklahoma City

"Growing up, Christmas cards were a favorite tradition of mine. I was always excited to check the mail and see who we would get a card from. One in particular was from a childhood friend of my mom. They had a golden retriever named Cooper and it was the card I looked forward to the most every year. Every year we would see him age a little more, until one year he had unfortunately passed away and I was devastated over a dog I had never met. I knew one day I wanted a dog of my own, and when I turned 23 I got myself a puppy for my birthday — a golden named Cooper."

Laura Sanderson, 47, Seattle

"My parents always send cards so for me it's part of the holiday tradition. I started sending photos of the dogs when I got Winnie (Black Lab) 7 years ago and Frankie joined 2 years later. It's my way of celebrating the year and staying connected to family and friends. It's always an adventure getting the dogs to participate!"

Jessica Cowle, 28, New York City

"I've been single for about a year now, which is the longest stint I had ever been single for, (I know, right?!). I held a "1 year no relationship" party in October, and ordered a cake that said it. I ended up including a photo of me holding the cake for my Christmas card because I love committing to the bit."

Amanda Washington. 35, Houston

"I started doing this because of Covid and haven't stopped because I think it's important to celebrate and recap. I also still faithfully mask in public so it's a reminder that fun and life can still be lived while protecting oneself and those around them."

Emily Jordan, 30, St. Augustine, Fla.

"I write about 150 Christmas cards every year for my friends, family, and my entire office building! I started taking pictures with my skeleton, Bernie. Over the years, I have added my skeleton cat, Pickles, and plastic porch geese, Phillip and Dill, to the mix!" 

Sarah McLaughlin, 27, Boston

"Me, and the love of my life, Gus the gecko. It started as a joke to rebut all of the settling down and featuring boyfriends/ husbands/ partners jokes and now it's so popular he's sending out about 50 cards this year!"

Marissa Díaz, 34, Santa Monica, Calif.

"My holiday card is a DIY art project that brings me back to my roots as an artist and connects me with friends and family. It is my end of year single lady battle cry, 'I don't have a husband or a dog... but I do have a linen closet filled with art supplies, and I'm not afraid to use it!'"

Ishita Taneja, 33, Boone, N.C.

"I've always wanted a little tradition of my own — to be one of those people that baked cookies with family annually, or had a themed party year after year. After the end of a marriage and a move with my two dogs that took me to a state where I knew nobody and nobody knew me, I realized I had to spark my own joy. And so, my first Christmas card was born out of a desire to just Do The Thing, and remind myself that I  choose what my life looks like!"

Alysha Baker, 36, Chicago

"My holiday card is both a Christmas card and marketing material of meeting a man who is fine and knows my friends and is vetted."

Megan Schultz, 31, Costa Mesa, Calif.

"I decided I belong on everyone's fridge just as much as my friends with cute little families :)" 

Mei Carmer, 24, Bellefontaine, Ohio

"I did a Christmas mini-session with a local photographer and crafted the cards on Canva; I will send cards to about 150 people, and the feedback from the ones I've already sent my card to is that they loved it!"

Mikaela Raitt, 31, Seattle

"What started as a fun activity with my (now ex) boyfriend, has turned into an annual tradition for me and my pup, Bowie."

Elisa Antrom, 25, Atlanta

"I'm just so lucky that I get to grace my friend's refrigerators and bulletin boards with me and my fur child. I asked my Instagram followers who wanted one and sent them off."

Breanna Ellis, 26, Houston, Texas

"Christmas cards are such a fun tradition. I didn't want my lack of having a significant other or a family to stop me from participating. Plus, most of my friends are single! This is definitely a tradition I plan to continue while single, and as my family grows."

Sarah Katz-Hyman, 35, San Francisco

"I send out cards because I love a bit, I live for a bit. It brings a little joy to me to think up an idea every year and after I send them, I usually get some friends who reach out to say they enjoyed getting the card and we get to catch up."

Olivia Fargiano, 29, New York City

"Last summer, in an incredibly out of character moment, I spontaneously adopted a kitten, Rigatoni (goes by Toni), from my local ASPCA and had to find a way to formally announce it to my friends and family. The recipients loved the card and when I reached out to some people for their addresses this year (originally for a different purpose) they were all hoping it was for another Christmas card featuring Toni, so I had to quickly deliver."

Sierra Lai, 28, New York City

"I'm really excited for these cards to be a physical marker for moments in my life in the future, and am glad they are capturing what my life is like now, just a girl and her dog. I can't wait to see how they start to change once/ if I get married, adopt another dog, have a kid and move from NYC to a farm upstate."

Mariah Howard, 31, Columbia, S.C.

"I sent out Christmas cards because Christmas is just as much for singles as it is for families and children! The holidays shouldn't be a time to mourn being single, it should be a time to celebrate being fabulous all by yourself."

Elizabeth Etherton, 38, Mobile, Ala.

"I've gone to law school, I've bought a house, and I live a very full life without a partner, so why not share an image of that, the same way you would if you had a traditional holiday card?"

Whitney Delgado, 35, Sacramento, Calif.

"I send New Years cards instead of Christmas cards. January can be so depressing and a card is a nice way to let your friends know you're thinking about them. Your relationship status doesn't determine your ability to send holiday cards."

Kirsten Laverty, 26, Los Angeles

"I've been sending them for years now, but this is the first time I've taken the "comedic" approach instead of the heartfelt. I also hand wrote on the back of the card that my friends should show it to any eligible bachelors."

Chanel Lewis, 33, Washington, D.C.

"Last year after buying my own house, I scheduled a holiday photoshoot with my friend/ photographer for my 2023 holiday cards. I had a tough last few years leading up to the purchase of my home (coming out, divorce, selling home, relocating from my home state, first lesbian breakup, new amazing relationship), and I wanted to capture myself in that moment and share it with others. It was a milestone for me: I'm finally home. After what felt like sleepwalking for years, I had a place that was mine; a place that would hold me and grow with me; a place that was/is sacred."

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