A mother's letter from prison

Mom's letter
Randi, an inmate at the Shakopee women's prison, shared her thoughts about her relationship with her children in this recent letter.
MPR Photo/Melanie Sommer

Being a parent that's incarcerated is harder than I can put into words. It's hard on both me and my children. My heart aches because I miss them so. I know they feel the same. They get angry and it doesn't always come out toward what they are really angry at. They want me with them.

Being as patient and strong as they can be, they know I have made some awful choices, and it's hard waiting for both of us. It feels like so long until we will be back together.

Our relationship has changed since coming here, in some ways for the better. I'm healthier now after having two total hip surgeries. Now we can dream of doing things together in the future. I'm working on forgiving myself and figuring out where to go from here.

I'm so very fortunate that my older daughter. who is married and just starting a family of her own, has taken on the challenge of raising her two sisters. Her husband has been a wonderful blessing, and I think this has brought us closer because we talk much more than we used to.

I'm very thankful for the parent-teen groups here. It helps ease the pain. We can talk about pressing issues and concerns, play with them and get close with them once a month.

The interview was a little hard to hear because of the anger and pain that I heard in their answers. It surprised me a few times at their insight and how deep they have thought things through. I know they will be OK, but me being here is very hard on them.

Thank you,

Randi