A new ‘pain cave’: Jessie Diggins keeps pushing limits after retiring from skiing
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What does Jessie Diggins, the greatest American cross-country skier of all time, who retired from skiing earlier this year at the top of her sport, do for a second act at the ripe young age of 35?
It turns out the answer lies at least in part, quite literally, on a long, grueling path through the north woods.
This past weekend, Diggins traded in her ski boots for running shoes. The Minnesota native competed in the 100-mile long Superior Fall Trail Race, which follows the rugged Superior Hiking Trail along the North Shore of Lake Superior.
Her longtime coach, Jason Cork of Duluth, wasn’t surprised. Every year, she’d choose one big, extra challenging trail running workout she’d call “the big stupid.”
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“From a coaching perspective and a physiological perspective, it wasn’t really necessary,” Cork said. “It was more like a mental challenge and a cool thing to focus on.”
The Superior 100 is nothing if not a mental challenge. Competitors run through the night, using headlamps to light their way through a pitch-black tunnel of forest. The trail is remote and treacherous, crossing slippery wooden bridges and traversing up and down steep, rocky ridgelines.
“No matter how physically fit you are, it's really a mental thing, an emotional thing, to get yourself in the right headspace to want to continue on to the finish," said race director John Storkamp.
Diggins is renowned for her ability to push her body to its limits, and to descend deep into what she calls the "pain cave."
That skill, mental toughness and tenacity helped her win four Olympic medals, including one gold, and four overall World Cup titles over her decorated 15-year pro career.
People who lined the course to cheer on runners were pumped to learn that Diggins was in the race.
"Listen, Jesse Diggins is a legend, and people in America should know,” said Micah Melander, who drove up from the Twin Cities to support another runner.
"We want Jesse Diggins in trail running,” he added. “I'm so excited that she's doing this."
Diggins smiled and chatted with her support team through early race checkpoints. But as she approached the end, 25 hours after she started, she could barely run. But Diggins was the first woman to cross the finish line, and she finished 5th overall.
"It was quite emotional for me,” Diggins said in an interview with MPR News a few days after the race. “I remember crying, and then very shortly after crossing the finish line, I realized I can't stand anymore.”
“Once I stopped, it was as if every ounce of energy that I had, had gone into just getting to that finish line," Diggins added.
Diggins described the first 50 miles as “really fun.” But as darkness descended, she got a bad blood blister that popped and pushed one of her toenails upward. The pain was intense. She said she wouldn’t have finished without her support crew helping her through the lowest of the low moments.
“Literally like peeling off my socks, wiping away the blood that was oozing out of multiple toenails, gently wiggling fresh socks on, and gently sliding new shoes on to get me out for the last 20 miles. It really is this ultimate love and trust exercise,” she said.
Diggins could barely walk for a couple hours after finishing the race. But she derives a ton of satisfaction from pushing her body so hard and pushing through her limits.
"I treat it like a real gift, because in life, we don't get to choose when we are going through something hard. We don't get to choose the moments when we're going to suffer,” Diggins said.
“But in a race, you sign up for that. And that's amazing because then you get to build this resilience, and the skill set to get you through hard things in life."
Diggins ran three long trail races this summer after retiring from skiing in March, culminating in the Superior 100. She said she’ll probably never really want to give up going through “the pain cave.”
But she's not ready to call running a second athletic career. She doesn’t want to put labels on it. Because as much as she loved to ski race competitively, it was also a job.
"And when it is also the way that you pay the bills and literally put food on the table, it does come with a higher level of pressure,” Diggins said.
“There is something wonderful about knowing, like, hey, if I never sign up for another race again, that's OK. It's not my job anymore. It is literally just for fun. It's only just for challenging myself."
Plus, she has another day job now. After retiring from skiing, she launched a career as a public speaker. She talks to audiences about grit and teamwork and, yes, the pain cave.
She also opens up about her mental health issues and her experience battling an eating disorder.
"I'm nervous every time I go on stage. My heart's going almost exactly like it is on the start line of a race,” said Diggins.
Public speaking pushes her and challenges her in new ways, quite different from ski racing.
"You know, can I memorize a 45-minute speech and do it when I'm nervous on stage in front of thousands of people,” Diggins said.
But it's also an opportunity. The way she sees it, she gets 45 minutes to give everyone in the audience a piece of her story.
“And hopefully it means something to them. And then they might go out and decide to sign up for their own ‘big stupid’ goal,” Diggins said, to push themselves across whatever finish line is in their lives.
